| wake my dreams. |
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Posted on May 26, 2007 @ 1:44 pm
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Having a license really does change your life. I'm never home anymore. Mostly because I am working like crazy. I got that raise I have been waiting for. Heck yes! And when I am home, someone is usually here with me. It's funny. I have such a busy schedule. It's what I've been wanting since I was little though.
Lots of things have changed. Most of my friends are all graduated now, and I am still stuck. Here. My parents are thinking about moving. For real this time too. It sucks. I can't leave. I don't want to leave everything behind. I have so much going for me now. I got nominated for $100,000 scholarship. Another plus in my life. yay!
I am happy where I am now though. Believe it or not. I have no drama, and I have my friends & family. That is all I need. Really.
My step-brothers are staying for a whole month. My dad left to get them today. They won't be leaving till the end of June. I'm not so excited about that I must say. For some reason I don't want them here. Don't get me wrong. I love them, but just not ready for the household drama to hit, and it always does when they are here.
This entry is probably the most random one I have ever posted. Whateverrrr...I like it.
Good day!
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| Better look out...I'm on the road. |
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Posted on April 25, 2007 @ 7:26 pm
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I haven't updated this thing in forever.
anyways...
The riverdale prom was good, not what I expected. Good none-the-less.
After was fun. I must admit I suck at "Catch Phrase", but at least I am not afraid to admit it. :]
I got a car yesterday. It is an amazing Black, Dodge Avenger. It's a sports car, and absolutely perfect for me. It has some serious pick-up. I cried when my parents showed it to me. :/ Drove it around town without a license too. Dang, I am such a rebel. ;]
I am quite sick of painting. My lovely parents decided we were going to paint the whole downstairs, and a couple rooms upstairs. Unfortunately, they are all the same color, & the color is UGLY. I call it "hot n spicy mustard." That is exactly what the color looks like. They say we're moving, but seriously...when is that going to happen?!? haha.
Things to look forward to...
*License
*Getting my room back
*Prom next weekend
*Mom's birthday
*Aunt's shower
yeah, my life is sa-weet. I wouldn't have it any other way.
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| Ladies, hands up! |
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Posted on February 16, 2007 @ 10:22 am
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I give up on him.
and I am fed up with her.
Other than a few bumps, Life has been pretty good.
&
This weekend is going to rock, hardcore.
you know how we do.
♥
:]
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| Formal baby. |
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Posted on February 08, 2007 @ 8:49 pm
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I can't believe I was asked to formal. I don't care that I wasn't the first girl on his list anymore either. We're going together for a reason. These past couple of days have been wonderful. I'm getting into shape, & loving life. I got my dress for formal. It's gorgeous. Very different, & not something people would expect to see me in at all.
well Valentines Day is coming up!!!
yay, although I know nothing special is going to happen, I love that day.
Formal in ten more days. ♥
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| Can you believe it... |
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Posted on February 06, 2007 @ 9:57 am
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All I have been doing is work, work, work. Tonight is my first night off in about a week, maybe. Yesterday I was extremely grumpy. I snapped at one of my good friends, & it was so un-called for. He did tell me some things that attributed to my bad mood though. I love how people make assumptions about a situation before they even know what went on. I didn't go to chick-fil-a to make chris jealous. If I was going to do that I would have walked inside with the boys. I honestly didn't even think he was working. Golly Gee. More drama I don't need. And this thing with a friend...we rarely talk anymore. Honestly, I must say it seems like the only reason we're still friends is because she wants to stay friends with her other friend, & maybe she thinks that if we're not friends then they won't be friends. I don't know. I could be way off, and I could be over analyzing everything. This is just what it seems like. Oh well, it's life, right? You win some, you lose some. What can you do?
I'm sick of drama. I'm just gonna let it go.
If people want to talk about me, let them.
They must not have a very exciting life if
all they do is gossip about people.
I'm going to ADK formal with Stuart.
I'm pretty excited.
I don't think it means anything,
but it will definitely be fun.
Working on surprise for Wednesday.
Shopping for a dress on Thursday.
Hanging with Kt, & BR girls this weekend,
& whoever else wants to hang out.
oh yeah...
Happy Birthday Morgan!!!
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Posted on January 30, 2007 @ 4:46 pm
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I fixed the last problem.
but now I have another.
geez.
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| Golly Gee. |
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Posted on January 28, 2007 @ 1:49 am
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I have nothing to really complain about. Oh, no, wait.
There's this guy I know. He's a good friend, but he thinks we're "talking." I've told him we're not, & I'm not dating. Then tonight he tries to kiss me, and I turn my head. It was hilarious. :] Anyways, I don't know what else to do. I mean I've told him I'm not gonna date him. I guess he thinks there is a chance I'm going to change my mind. Absolutely Not. He's a good friend, but nothing more. I have to admit though...I kind of think this whole situation is slightly funny. I know my mom definitely does. haha.
Work hasn't been too bad lately. I just hope they give me more hours, soon. I need them so bad. I need a car. Everyone says I'm doing good. That is a good thing for sure.
I can't believe I'm updating this stupid thing at 2am.
I do have a life. I swear. I'm just not tired at all.
I guess I should go & try to get some sleep.
Work tomorrow. OH BOY!
G'night.
♥
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| Bad eggs... |
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Posted on January 13, 2007 @ 11:09 pm
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My dad jumped in the lake tonight. It was hilarious.
anyways...
I'm done trying.
I need to move on.
Stop trying with the old.
Give up.
Move on with the new.
They rock just as much.
Maybe even more?!?!
It doesn't seems like it matters to the old anyways.
I think they've moved on.
Why can't I?
I hate how I trust so much.
I should stop.
It gets me hurt.
I'm so gullable.
That is not good.
I wish I would be treated just as good
as everyone else.
I try harder.
Believe it or not.
I shouldn't have to.
goodness gracious.
This sucks.
BUT
Done.
Adios.
See ya!
Tata.
that was lame.
I'm tired.
But I can't sleep.
ehhh, I hate it.
♥
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| with your back to the wall you're gonna be the lonely one |
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Posted on January 08, 2007 @ 7:33 am
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This weekend was exactly what I needed!
Everything was a blast. Hung out with some of my favorite people. Just amazing.
I love my friends, more than anything. My girls, Katie & Morgan, are always there for me when I need them. The boys are just so much fun to be around & have fun with. They all make me smile. :]
I know you wish you had friends like mine!!!
On the other hand...
I miss him, but I don't miss being in a relationship. Kinda.
Gosh, I don't know anything right now.
I'm just gonna stay single, of course. Enjoy life, & have a ball. That's my plan. NO MORE RELATIONSHIPS...for a while anyways.
♥
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| Resolutions; solutions |
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Posted on December 08, 2006 @ 7:04 am
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I'm gonna try and lose about 10 lbs!
What do you think about that?
I have decided that my New Year Resolutions are going to be...
DUN DUN DUN
To stop letting my friends run all over me.
Tell people what I think.
I think those are two very good resolutions. I have always been the peace maker & when people do me wrong I let it roll off my back so I don't start more drama. But I'm through being treated wrong. I need to start standing up for myself, and that is exactly what I am going to start doing.
What do you think about that?
♥
throw my cares up in the air,
and i don't think they're coming down.
yeah, i'm loving how i feel right now
love is looking into his eyes & forgetting
about the world around you. its feeling
his kiss hours after he's gone. its seeing
perfection when he's standing next to you
& realizing that every moment he's not
around you is way too long
No matter what
we're gonna stick together
Because when I said Best Friends
I meant forever.
the key to life:
be weird. take random
pictures, do something no
one else would expect you
to do. talk to someone you
never would. be someone
people think you aren't.
show who you really are.
don't hide under your smile.
I know I'm full of
dissapointments and incsecurities
but I promise you there is
a part of me worth keeping.
It takes someone special to make the
ordinary moments something to remember
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| I'm losing control. |
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Posted on December 06, 2006 @ 6:01 am
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| [ |
mood |
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 lethargic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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This Providence |
] |
I hate having a job. I really do. It is so stressful. This isn't like it use to be. I don't just sit here anymore. I have to actually work, and I like having stuff to do. But I hate the mental stress it causes. I really shouldn't worry about anything. That is my parents place, but then I guess me knowing everything that goes on, & this business being our lively hood, I do worry. I have been so stressed lately. To the point where I feel like I'm about to break. Maybe it will get better. There's always room for hope, right?
Chris & I are both always working. I haven't talked to him much this week at all, and it's killing me slowly. I know and knew I loved him deeply...but it seems like I'm realizing how much I truly care about him & just how much I love him now that we rarely see or speak to each other. Yesterday I saw him for the first time it felt like and I started crying. It was out of happiness. ha. I'm such a sap. Oh well, I love him more then anyone could ever possibly understand. With everything in me, my whole heart. I can't even describe it.
Dad is going out of town tomorrow. That kinda screws up all my plans. I know I have to clean the house. I might be hanging out with Maddy. I am supposed to go thrifting with Anne & Jessie, & I am definitely seeing Chris. It would be nice to see Miss Morgan. Who knows what's going on this weekend.
Gosh, life with a job is so stressful. I never have time for anything anymore. Ehhh. ♥
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| Colleges & such |
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Posted on November 30, 2006 @ 1:34 pm
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I've been doing alot of thinking lately about what college I want to go to, and what I want to do with the rest of my life. Honestly, I don't have a freakin' clue. I'm 16, and I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I want to be a Marine Biologist, but I don't want to move far from home. So far, I haven't found any colleges with marine science anywhere close to home. Goodness. Maybe Charleston, SC. I've got so much pressure on me to decide what I want to do so I can start looking at colleges, & applying for scholarships. Geez, highschool sure has flown by. I'm so excited about my senior year; even though it is like 6+ months away.
Christmas is coming up. Yay! I still need to do my Christmas shopping. My parents keep asking me what I want, & really there is only one thing on my list: a XTERRA or some kind of car. But I pretty much know I'm not gonna get that. Bummer! Oh well. It's so funny how the older you get the less you want. I have everything I need, and I don't want much at all. Hmm...
Well this is random. Random thinking. Random thoughts.
♥
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| Love makes the world go round |
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Posted on November 27, 2006 @ 10:38 am
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I'm in LOVE & I don't care who knows it.
He is so special to me. I love him. What I would do without him..I just don't know. Sunday is 6 months. I'm anxious, & excited. I hope he likes what I've got.
Anyways
I'm back to work, and better then ever. I'm so glad my lupus stuff is starting to fade. Medicine is amazing these days.
I went to Church with Chris yesterday. I love his church. It's so close to the kind of church I have been looking for. With the exception of it being Baptist instead of Non-denominational. Oh well. It works. I'm there for the Lord and that is all that counts.
This week is gonna be an interesting one. Work has been so crazy this morning. I have actually kept busy. I'm proud.
I don't have much to ramble about so I guess I'm done. An update on this thing is nice every once in awhile.
:] ♥
iloveyou
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| Stupid sickness. |
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Posted on November 19, 2006 @ 12:13 pm
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This weekend has been..well-- shocking. I almost had to go to Vandy Friday night. I have to go to the doctor tomorrow. I'm nervous. I hate doctors. Church this morning with Chris was nice. I met his grandma, and his aunt. His family is so sweet.
I miss Brittany.
I miss friends that are there for you always.
Friends that don't just forget about your existence.
It seems like most of the people I call my friends now, only want to hang out with me or talk to me when they have no one else to hang out with. That makes me feel horrible. I know I'm a good friend. I just wish these people I call friends would be good ones too.
Enough Complaining
Red Hot Chili Peppers concert January 17th.
I'm ecstatic.
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| Perfection, if you please. |
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Posted on November 16, 2006 @ 6:03 am
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per‧fec‧tion /pərˈfɛkʃən/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[per-fek-shuhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
-Noun
1. the state or quality of being or becoming perfect.
2. the highest degree of proficiency, skill, or excellence, as in some art.
3. a perfect embodiment or example of something.
4. a quality, trait, or feature of the highest degree of excellence.
5. the highest or most nearly perfect degree of a quality or trait.
6. the act or fact of perfecting.
No one is perfect. No one, with the exception of God. I hate how people expect perfection out of everyone. My parents expect me to be amazing at my job in the first week. But I'm not. I have a little work to do, & yes, I know that. God didn't make anyone on this earth to be perfect. We're all individuals. If everyone were perfect life would be a boring, dull place that just...existed. In life there needs to be room for mistakes, room to grow. In the end, everything you have gone through will make you a stronger person.
A lot of stuff happened yesterday that made me realize how blessed I am. I love my family. The little bit that I do have. I adore my friends. I honestly think Chris is one of the best things, if not the best thing that has ever happened to me. I complain a lot about my family not being close, and being one big mess. But I've come to realize at least I have my family that lives with me. There are adults and kids out there who have no family what-so-ever, living on the streets, and starving. I'm truly blessed.
I listened to the 90's on XM radio this morning. I miss the 90's. I miss being a little kid, running around without a care. I miss it.
My new favorite song...
Strange & Beautiful
by Aqualung.
I need, & want to go to a band show.
Just some kind of musical show.
Badly.
Backseat Goodbye would be nice.
Or even This Providence.
I'm craving STARBUCKS!
white chocolate mocha...the only thing I have ever tried from there.
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| Employed. |
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Posted on November 09, 2006 @ 5:15 am
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Everything is good.
I'm happier than ever,
& it's all because of him. ;]
The only thing that is bothering me is the fact that I don't think Chris' step-mom cares for me too much. That is not good. I know she is upset with me about Sunday night, and I don't blame her. I would be upset too. I hope this is me being paranoid, and nothing more. I don't need his parents disliking me. That would not be good. Pray for me?
On a brighter note...
I got a job. yay!!!
Not bad hours.
Mon-Fri
8am -5pm
Salary of $200 a wk.
I'd say that is pretty sa-weet.
I hope life is going just as good
for all you bloggers.
♥
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| Why Oh Why |
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Posted on November 06, 2006 @ 9:56 am
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Why do I have to be the one that ruins all the amazing things?
I need him.
I want him
in my life.
I just do.
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| Train wreck |
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Posted on November 05, 2006 @ 9:07 pm
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Breaking up with him was the hardest thing I have ever had to do thus far in my life. I broke his heart and I am extremely sorry for that. Really. I just don't want to be tied up in a relationship right now. I hate that it took so long for me to find that out. Being that way just made things harder. I do love him, no matter what mom says. I always will. I'm just not ready for that really, long, serious relationship. I hope things work out and we remain friends.
The hardest part is going to be taking everything out of my room, and getting over it. It's gonna take awhile. I've cried all night, and I'm sure I will the rest of the week. I hope he understands what I was trying to say. I feel so bad, like the most horrible person in the world. To tell the truth. I'm so sorry Chris. Believe me or not.
I do love you.
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| Boom; crash |
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Posted on November 05, 2006 @ 11:29 am
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I don't know what to do. I need help more then ever right now.
Oh gosh, what am I doing? Help me!
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| The heart of life is good, I suppose. |
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Posted on November 04, 2006 @ 8:31 pm
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I don't know why I write in this thing. I never get advice anymore, or comments. Nothing. Geez. I guess it is a good way to vent anyways. Tonight was my brothers 14th Birthday party. He has over 3 14 yr olds boys, and a slutty girl. What's new? The boys are staying the night. Oh boy. I feel pranks coming about. ;]
I have yet to find a job, and that is pissing me off. I've applied to so many places, and not one call back. Ugh.
I found out this week I can definitely go to the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus concert in N'ville, on the 27. yayyyyyyyy. This makes me very happy.
For the most part, I would say, Life is pretty grand. As John Mayer says
"Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good."
♥
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